I have had a story ready to submit for more than a week, but I keep putting off actually submitting it. I have the browser window open, the query letter written, and yet.
What makes me doubt myself so? I know what I’m thinking. It’s not timely, it’s not good, no one will like it, it’s stupid. Why can’t I get over it and just hit “Submit?”
I’m protecting myself from failing. Protecting myself from rejection. Avoiding all the things. I am personally quite attached to avoidance. It’s my favorite. Doesn’t that sound ridiculous? I know there’s science behind all of this, but dammit! I don’t want to look like a fool.
Any yet, so many people I admire are not perfect. And many times, the imperfections are what I like best about them. My husband has always complained that he hates his teeth, but I find them delightfully crooked. But writing, it’s different, right? Well, it can be. But doesn’t imperfection keep you engaged, surprised? Delighted, even?
I was visiting a friend last weekend for her birthday and she received a heart shaped dish from a friend. She doesn’t like hearts. I pointed out that it was a beautiful blue and it’s shape was uneven. She then decided to use it in her bathroom. Just because of the included imperfection? Who knows, but maybe I can believe it’s true and think about that when I finally hit the “Submit.”